Why Do You Hate Children? (Tongue in Cheek)

Who here is currently using pesticides? By show of hands. No, no…leave them up, leave them up. I have to ask you: Why do you hate children?

 

Surprised by the question? You shouldn’t be. Surely you know that pesticides are very harmful to the environment and a leading cause of death and injury among children. The newspapers have stories every day about another child killed by somebody using a pesticide. Spare me your protests.

 

“Pesticides are legal.”

“I have to be trained and licensed to use my pesticides.”

“I am very careful and responsible with my pesticides.”

“It is not economically viable for me not to have my pesticides.”

“I minimize risk to the environment and others by limiting the use of my pesticides.”

“I never leave children alone with the pesticides.”

 

I’ve heard all the excuses, and they don’t cut it. You made a choice to use your pesticides, and you have to live with it. I hope you can sleep at night.

 

Another question: Is the passage above more accurate if you substitute the word “car” for “pesticide”?

 

So I ask again: Who here is currently using a car? Why do you hate children?

 

Chris

Executive Director

F.A.R.M.

Farmers Against Roadway Murder

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